REMEMBRANCE- HEAL THE WOUND BUT LEAVE THE SCAR
THIS WRITING HAS BEEN IN MY DRAFT SINCE 2017! HAHA. NEVER HAVE THE COURAGE TO POST THIS WRITING BECAUSE I FEELS SO INSECURE ABOUT MY SELF. I CHECKED ON MY LIST OF DRAFT THIS MORNING AND DECIDED TO POST THIS ONE. DRAFT YANG LAIN, LAIN KALI SAYA POST YA. Saya tambah yang bahagian atas ni jak. Malas dah mau tukar2 ayat di bawah tu...saya pun lupa apa sebenarnya yang saya mau kctau kmu org..haha.
July 2017
I am diagnosed with Tuberculosis aka Tb in July 2017. It all started with pain in my chest in May 2017. I went to the doctor but they said it was just a normal cough. They asked me to finished my antibiotic. But I can feel it was getting worse. So, two weeks after that, I decided to see our panel doctor again. This time, I asked my officemate to send me to our panel clinic because I really don't feel good. But the doctor still insisted it was normal. By that time, it was already June. I really thought it was really okay since the doctor said so. I believe my doctor. Still believe.
Saya dengan yakinnya, pulang ke kampung untuk mengundi, pegi ke student conference di Sibu dan balik dari sana terus pegi fieldtrip di Bungo Range National Park. Balik dari trip di Bungo Range tu, saya betul-betul tidak dapat tahan sudah kesakitan saya, sy terus jumpa balik doktor panel kami dan minta dia refer kan saya ke emergency Sarawak General Hospital. SERAH DIRI. Actually, masa di student conference di Sibu tu saya sudah yakin yang saya betul-betul sakit terok sudah. Bayangkan, saya batuk saja berdarah,batuk saja berdarah...Tidak tu teruk sudah?... Saya mau balik terus ke Kuching masa tu tapi saya tetap mau stay sampai last day sana. Ada satu kata-kata yang mendamaikan saya masa tu ketika saya berdoa, kata-kata doa ini juga yang membuat saya stay sampai hari terakhir conference tersebut.
Saya dengan yakinnya, pulang ke kampung untuk mengundi, pegi ke student conference di Sibu dan balik dari sana terus pegi fieldtrip di Bungo Range National Park. Balik dari trip di Bungo Range tu, saya betul-betul tidak dapat tahan sudah kesakitan saya, sy terus jumpa balik doktor panel kami dan minta dia refer kan saya ke emergency Sarawak General Hospital. SERAH DIRI. Actually, masa di student conference di Sibu tu saya sudah yakin yang saya betul-betul sakit terok sudah. Bayangkan, saya batuk saja berdarah,batuk saja berdarah...Tidak tu teruk sudah?... Saya mau balik terus ke Kuching masa tu tapi saya tetap mau stay sampai last day sana. Ada satu kata-kata yang mendamaikan saya masa tu ketika saya berdoa, kata-kata doa ini juga yang membuat saya stay sampai hari terakhir conference tersebut.
" Tuhan, kalau peranan saya di dunia ini sudah selesai, ambil lah saya. Tapi kalau masih ada yang Tuhan percayakan kepada saya belum selesai, saya yakin, apa pun penyakit saya saat ini, saya akan sembuh!"
YA, saya sudah bersedia dan tau saya sakit sebelum saya disahkan sakit. Sebab itu, ketika saya buat medical test di Timberland Medical Centre, doktor memberitahu berita tersebut, saya terus ketawa. Saya jawab doktor tu, "Haha, baiklah doktor, apa yang harus saya buat?". "Go for the Anti-TB treatment".
[banyak orang perlu di trace masa ni sebab saya jumpa banyak orang, orang KKM call banyak kali sampai orang KKM tu jadi kawan saya sampai sekarang. maafkan saya sebab menyebarkan virus penyakit kepada kamu orang semua. Saya berdoa supaya setiap orang yang saya jumpa tidak terjangkit oleh virus ini]
This is my illness history. I knew I should not share about this. But I believe I will survived this illness. Until I completely healed, let me write about it.
Discpline : RESPIRATORY
24 years old, lady, no previous history of medical illness, non smoker, presented initially to Timberland Medical Centre for productive cough for one month duration with yellowish to whitish sputum and one episode of hemoptysis, evening fever, sweating, loss of appetite, and loss of weight. She works as researcher at Wildlife Conservation and Science (Malaysia) Bhd.
She was investigated at Timberland Medical Centre which was diagnosed as Pulmonary Tuberculosis smear positive with evidence of acid fast bacili seen on direct smear, mycobacterium tuberculosis detected on PCR and cavitation on chest x-ray (ADVANCE!). She was started on Anti-TB treatment 12/07/2017.
12/7/2017
Right upper zone opacities with cavity
12/12/2017
Right upper zone: Notice the line? it leave the scars (a prove that healing process is real)
Taking photo with my medical assistant at Pusat Rawatan 1 RCBM Hospital after completing my Directly Observed Treatment Short Course (DOTS). A smiling face because I knew I won over TB. hahaha
Sound perfectly smooth right? Macam mudah jak semua berjalan kan?. But actually, NO! the process is so painful,..I found myself in a very depressed situation. Everyone seems avoiding me..I feel sorry for myself.. But let me talk about that later in my next writing.
I noticed my lungs is not in a perfect condition anymore. There is a scar leave there. But I am still proud of that scar because it shows how merciful God is. He is faithful. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil for He is with me.
Let me end this writing with a Psalm from David;
Psalm 23
A psalm of David.
1 The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
3 he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.
4 Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,[a]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
6 Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
forever.
Stay blessed and see you on my next writing.
Fighter,
YSA
Comments
Post a Comment