Why I write here?

 22 June 2021

I think too much recently. I can feel that my energy is draining every time I push myself to work and think. I noticed my headaches pattern. My migraine often attacked me anytime now (when it usually happened during my menstrual cycle time only). My heart often feels so heavy. I sometimes cannot even breath (whenever I started to let my mind control me). Is this covid19 symptoms? or is this just another kind of anxiety attacks? haha

I remove myself from social media (facebook) last month because I cannot handle the toxic in the news and updates from friends and social media influencers. But I do activate-deactivate the account during the early stage until I completely turn it off now. I rarely open my Instagram so I don't deactivate the IG acc. 

Staying alone in this city is surely a challenging time. I knew I have wonderful friends , supportive colleague and amazing community surround me which I can turn to anytime I need help. I don't know, maybe this is what people call the power of mindset. I lost to my own mind. I let the thought took over. It affected me tremendously. It affected my eating pattern, my will to move on.. I lost 5 kg of my weight since last April.  I know I need to get up and fight.  I know. I know. I know. hahaahahhaaaahahahaa

Back then, the only reason why I started this blogspot account is - so that this blogspot will be a dump centre where I can write anything that is on my mind and dump it into writing. So if you see me writing.. actually that is a good sign that I started to heal myself from thinking too much..

Do not worry. I can handle this. I appreciate your concern. I know that I have full responsibility over my  life. I have God, I have family and friends , I have job, .. I think that is strong point to be grateful for life. I am blessed.

No worries, I will be back stronger. Until then, stay safe.

Love,

Yonny